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November 2008

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butterfly

buy this car to drive to work, drive to work to pay for this car

my eyes are heavy with tears and regret. i messed up too many times and its making it impossible for me to feel comfortable anywhere. i hate everyone i've ever admired; i admit i care more about other people that i dont know.
it's really hard being alive in this world.
it's harder to be dead, i know that. i just... feel completely desserted.
I know the problems of the world don't weigh on my shoulders, but why do i sag when I walk?
I'm so insecure.
I'll never say that out loud.
I miss being younger. Dancing alone or in groups. Dancing period. I can't remember the last time i freely moved my body.
I wish I could trust anyone. I miss my dad. I can't stand any boy because I don't know what they're thinking about me. I'm done going to the coop.

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